I know I'm different from most, I dislike office politics a lot. I dislike gossip and talking behind people's backs, I confront situations, I speak my mind and am straight forward and as such, I've learnt some things you just shouldn't say or do....
- The loud woman at work, there's always one, when she ask outloud "what am I doing now?" this is not an invitation for you to actually tell her that she's being loud and obnoxious and asking questions outloud to gain attention and therefore recognition for being there, the only sort of recognition she's due anytime soon. Nor is it a good time to tell her she's slowly, second by seond, moving towards her death, and that the cold claw of death is coming for her. This is definately not to be followed up by yelling loudly to scare her, popping a balloon to scare her, or putting a cold hand on her should when shes not looking
- When someone asks if you think they're fat, this is not an opportunity to advise of a good midwife you know, nor should you advise that they should stay away from fish for fear they might break those sort of scales as well. This is also not a good time to start talking about how you find the merging of calves and ankles humourous when the names are merged just as much to produce the name cankles.
- When someone tells you something, this could quite easily be something devised by the empire so you can later perform your best Admiral Ackbar impersonation. It's this sort of thing that can easily drag you into office politics or gossiping later. Best idea in this situation is to look like your listening attentively while screaming a song in your head. You should also practise this so you don't have a glazed look come over your eyes, the only thing that should come over your eyes is me.
These are just a few small pointers to help you navigate the murky waters of work encounters....of course, they're my opinion and therefore right. Follow them, You'll not survive otherwise
MK
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