Some people bring me close to breaking my "Not-killed-anyone" record....

I hate general statements, but this post is making me use one. It's ok, I've come to terms with this by using this blog post as a whore. Not just any whore but a whore who has been brutally slaughtered just minutes before I had my way with her, I've paid my money, I'll get my product bitch! she is also a horse.

Try that disturbing picture. Bestiality AND Necrophilia. It's an amazing scene and should be written down.....but Stephanie Meyers has already shit out that and served it on a silver platter for women everywhere to eat up. Don't get me wrong, the storyline itself was fine (yes, I've read the Twilight series!) but the actually writing, the structure, the vocabulary, was like some alien cockroach being shoved into my brain. Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn!

So, the statement? Some people in this world suck and are douchebags. (You will fall into this category at some time. I do as well, but I'm so fucking awesome I don't count. You do. Stop being suck! Unless it's my cock you're aiming for)

These people fail at being human, for instance:


NZ Drivers
Another general statement, but screw it, this post is going to be full of them, like I'm full of awesome, and by logic since I spread awesome by jizzing on people, the fact these general statements are coming out is by jizzing on readers....admit it, you like that.

The things that piss me off here is the following too closely. So closely it's like I'm all for fucking gay marriage that the only way you could get further up my ass is with some lube and beware if I brake too quickly or that motherfucker is going to plough the rear of my car like I'm a Thai Lady boy.



Worst hood ornament ever!



Indicators. Use them, they're not optional.

When people assume I'm fucking Charles Xavier and can read their mind, sweeping in the lane in front of me like their popeye arm has suddenly had a spasm from jerking off too much, ensuring that my leg has to knee jerk so I don't rape the back of your car with mine, that annoys me. Don't do that. I will fuck you in the mouth. With my car. Use your indicator, it's not a fancy little lever on the side of your steering wheel, it has more use then as a tool to practise fellatio on.



 

Hey kids, if you jerk off everyday, you can get arms like this too!

 

Impatience. Well done fucker, edging forwards continuously saves you a whole second! You managed to change lanes at the lights and gain another second retard? well done! With all this time you'll be able to do......nothing, because you're a fucking douchebag. Oh, and as for those fuckers who go right to the end of lane that is ending on the motorway because the traffic is going slower then normal? Yeah, asshats, you are the reason traffic is going slower as you try to squeeze into the non-existent gap at the end. People like you probably lie on their tax returns, steal from charities and sleep with their own mothers, who have been dead for 15 years.



 

There are licensing rules for a reason. So that the amount of suck and stupid you spread into the world is minimized. Maybe if we start removing safety labels Darwin's laws can kick in and futire generations can be saved from such absurdities as yourself. Better yet, go pick yourself up a Dodge Ram 1500 which has had the worst assessments for side, rear and front impact crashes and a high rolling rate. It's a lot like your girlfriend who gets a lot of rear impacts from me as I roll her over to a more pleasing position, one where I can't see her face.

Fuck your stupid driving

MK